The Office Christmas Party
“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the”- Blah blah, you know the drill. It’s that time of year again and the office Christmas party is coming up. An endeavour that could be potentially quite fun and amusing… Or a cesspit of awkwardness and embarrassment. So here are some Do’s and Don’ts to make the office Christmas party a much more merry time for all involved.
DO stay away from office gossip. It’s unpleasant and negative anyway (quit bi****g and get some work done!) so don’t be a party pooper and leave your negativity at the door. Chinese whispers are bad enough anytime – but add alcohol to the equation and at best it is awkward and at worst it could end up in tears… or a fist fight. There’s always one co-worker who is an over emotional drunk. If you can’t work out who it is, it’s probably you.
DON’T drink too much. This one is obvious… but seriously don’t. I know there is the temptation of free booze, but do you know what it more fun than getting wasted and embarrassing yourself? Watching your co-workers getting drunk and embarrassing themselves. *Cameras at the ready.* The trick here is to get the perfect level of buzz going: just enough to put up with any annoying ramblings you may have to deal with, and yet not intoxicated enough to show your boss that tattoo. Yeah… THAT tattoo.
DO take the opportunity to mingle with people you wouldn’t normally in the office. This could be a good time to make an impression on someone higher up in the workforce than you, that you haven’t had the time to speak to previously. But again, only if you’re not too drunk or it could back-fire.
DON’T brag. (Don’t do this period). You might be the golden boy/girl of the office with the boss eating off your palm, but brag about it in public and the same boss will make you feel like an intern. Nobody wants to hear about your impending bonus or promotion, or your great marketing skills and convincing powers. This is the time to keep work away and forget about the politics and the hierarchy. And if someone else is doing the bragging just smile and let it pass.
DO keep to the etiquette. Dress appropriately and if other people are bringing gifts, make sure to do the same. Don’t be that guy.
DON’T try and get it on with the office hottie. It’s not worth it. If you do manage to pull, it’s going to be awkward the following day. If you don’t manage it, it’s going to be even MORE awkward. Don’t dip your pen in company ink. (Or if you do anyway… don’t get caught!)
So that’s how to have the most enjoyable time at your office Christmas party. Keep a (semi) sensible head on… and then go crazy afterwards!
P.S Cocaine and strippers are probably a no-no.
Merry Christmas!
Tom Duffy
